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Submitted on
November 30, 2011
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You used to stand up for us
And I know you'll watch over us.
You used to carry us on your shoulder
Now we'll always carry you in our heart.
Cause now it seems life lost all its colours
Shattered all our hopes and dreams.
But I know you'll be watching
Even if it's only from behind the scenes.
Dedicated to all those who lost someone close to them.
Submitted to #RawEm0tion for the theme "Carry Me"
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:iconshehrozeameen:
I'll be frank here, ignore the rating I've given this work. Its purely for the sake of fulfilling a requirement.

After reading Ceased, I can't help but wonder if there's a connection between this work and that one. Deep down, somehow, the only link I can make is best described into words of poetry, but that would mean I am not providing a critique, hence I must define through a significant acknowledgement of the circumstances concerning which the matter of death itself is presented.

And it is presented well. The use of the "us" refrain is reminiscent of an adolescent coming to terms with the loss. The "life lost all its colors" here, does not exactly mean despair and trauma and sadness - so much as it means scarring, and a slight resentment towards how fate works. the rhyming between "dreams" and "scenes" is juxtaposing that resentment with the satisfaction that an "Iris" (from the Ronan Keating song's lyrics) is going to be there... For the most part at least. Once we die, there's no knowledge of what happened behind the scenes.

It could also mean something else. This is another opinion, and for a dearth of a better way of describing it, here it is:

Its from the perspective of a rape victim, whose father took advantage of him youthful ignorance, and left him to face the cold on his own. THat caused his life to lose all its colors, shattered hopes and dreams (all our, would mean that she's his daughter - that he would support him and would look out for him, as a father should and which, suffice to say, he didn't). Hence, the "behind the scenes" is a cold embittering remark simply saying "You'll watch me suffer, a disowned wreck of an outcast, and you will not do anything about it".

In a way, that's linking The Pastor with this work. And that also explains the multiple dimensions of this work as well.

Well done. Honestly, well done... *changes rating* Yes, the rating now is absolutely genuine and deserving.
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:icongwenvar:
Gwenvar Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012   General Artist
The last line makes it complete.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
Thank you ;D
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:icongwenvar:
Gwenvar Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012   General Artist
You're welcome!
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:iconanimatrinity:
animatrinity Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012  Professional Writer
oh, dude, that's beautiful. a proper ode.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2012
Thank you so much.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
... :hug: your a real softy you know that.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
From time to time I can be.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:)
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