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Submitted on
September 20, 2012
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Sta.sh Writer
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You’re the heart of the ocean

A still surface -- with troubled waters underneath.

Yet the reflections still look the same to me.

 

Unpolluted pool of light

Silver fragranced moon

Shed your tears tonight.

 

You’re the heart of the ocean.

A still surface -- with troubled waters underneath.

Yet your reflections always look the same to me.

 

Ever fixed halo in the sky

Shed your tears tonight

Move the oceans and the sea,

Break apart this entity.

Comments and feedback are much appreciated!
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:iconnotensmsk:
I am unable to grasp the complete concept of this work but the reflection of the moonlight on waters surface is one thing that managed to hit me. But to be honest I did not try to understand it that much since it managed to give off a wonderful feel.

The non-italic stanza's are like a chorus and while the repetition didn't register that much to me, I did like the expressions used. Then the Italics play with words, giving an eerie touch to the seemingly sad work. The chorus feels sad and the italics feel eerie in a nice way. as in I enjoyed the work.

So, sadly, I was unable to grasp the work but I did enjoy the read. Short and touching in a strange fashion.
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:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Sep 28, 2012  Professional Writer
Your fantastic work has been featured in Friday Night Features.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
Thank you so much for the feature, it means a lot to me.
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:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Sep 29, 2012  Professional Writer
You're welcome.
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:iconbiga-nt:
BigA-nt Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I like it. Again very inspiring, and emotive. Interesting concept. Great work. :D
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
Thank you for the kind comment, it's much appreciated :).
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:iconwaters11:
that was a really impressive piece.
Reply
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
Thank you, I'm glad you think so.
Reply
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