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Submitted on
September 20, 2012
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Sta.sh Writer
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214
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You’re the heart of the ocean

A still surface -- with troubled waters underneath.

Yet the reflections still look the same to me.

 

Unpolluted pool of light

Silver fragranced moon

Shed your tears tonight.

 

You’re the heart of the ocean.

A still surface -- with troubled waters underneath.

Yet your reflections always look the same to me.

 

Ever fixed halo in the sky

Shed your tears tonight

Move the oceans and the sea,

Break apart this entity.

Comments and feedback are much appreciated!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconnotensmsk:
I am unable to grasp the complete concept of this work but the reflection of the moonlight on waters surface is one thing that managed to hit me. But to be honest I did not try to understand it that much since it managed to give off a wonderful feel.

The non-italic stanza's are like a chorus and while the repetition didn't register that much to me, I did like the expressions used. Then the Italics play with words, giving an eerie touch to the seemingly sad work. The chorus feels sad and the italics feel eerie in a nice way. as in I enjoyed the work.

So, sadly, I was unable to grasp the work but I did enjoy the read. Short and touching in a strange fashion.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

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:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2012
Your fantastic work has been featured in Friday Night Features.
Reply
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
Thank you so much for the feature, it means a lot to me.
Reply
:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconbiga-nt:
BigA-nt Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I like it. Again very inspiring, and emotive. Interesting concept. Great work. :D
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2012
Thank you for the kind comment, it's much appreciated :).
Reply
:iconwaters11:
waters11 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012
that was a really impressive piece.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2012
:blush: Thank you! =D
Reply
:iconwaters11:
waters11 Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2012
no problem.
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:iconyagamiseven:
Yagamiseven Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
This is nice
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Sep 20, 2012
Thank you, I'm glad you think so.
Reply
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