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Submitted on
September 24, 2012
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The pastor once prayed to the heaven
Inquired ‘bout the sins of the seven
Never did he know
Lust he did show
When he went for a whore past eleven.

Feedback and comments are much appreciated!
Written for #Written-Imagination's 1st anniversary :dummy:
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:iconnotensmsk:
For a limerick this works quite well. I have rarely seen very serious limericks and in that perspective the humorous touch is not only acceptable but seems to match the form.

While not being a fan of limerick writing I have read many and enjoyed them and seen that the most important trait in them is that they make sense. Meaning it is not gibberish. In this scenario the theme in essence is a very serious one; the seven deadly sins. They have been handled in a humorous way yet it does not seem comical or as if you are making fun.

Also the last line... well you can say it amused me a lot. So over all a good job well done in my opinion. I won't be able to comment technically since I do not feel any such need. Keep writing.
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:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:highfive: awesome ... short, concise and gets the point through very effectively... love the way u put it in a nutshell
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
Thx :D
I actually won a limerick contest with this one here on dA.
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:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
deserves it
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
This made me laugh. :la:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012
:squee: Glad it did!
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:la:
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:iconbiga-nt:
BigA-nt Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hahaha nice one. Great limerick. Nice work. Short and simple but highly effective. Nice one. :D
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012
Thx :D
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:iconwaters11:
waters11 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012
that was good i loved it
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012
Thank you, I'm glad you did :D.
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