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Literature - General by NotenSMSK

Good lit works by DannyMechanist


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Submitted on
September 24, 2012
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The pastor once prayed to the heaven
Inquired ‘bout the sins of the seven
Never did he know
Lust he did show
When he went for a whore past eleven.

Feedback and comments are much appreciated!
Written for #Written-Imagination's 1st anniversary :dummy:
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:iconnotensmsk:
For a limerick this works quite well. I have rarely seen very serious limericks and in that perspective the humorous touch is not only acceptable but seems to match the form.

While not being a fan of limerick writing I have read many and enjoyed them and seen that the most important trait in them is that they make sense. Meaning it is not gibberish. In this scenario the theme in essence is a very serious one; the seven deadly sins. They have been handled in a humorous way yet it does not seem comical or as if you are making fun.

Also the last line... well you can say it amused me a lot. So over all a good job well done in my opinion. I won't be able to comment technically since I do not feel any such need. Keep writing.
What do you think?
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:iconshadee:
shadee Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Perfect. :giggle:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014
Thank you :happybounce:
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:iconrockstar1009:
rockstar1009 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Pfft. I can violate all seven at once. :P

Good stuff, this. :la:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014
I bet you could, heck, didn't you write a scenario where you'd do all 10?
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:iconrockstar1009:
rockstar1009 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
...maybe I did. :paranoid:

And maybe that post made it to Forum-It a few issues back. :lol:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014
That's quite plausible, and I may or may not know who added it to it :bucktooth:
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:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:highfive: awesome ... short, concise and gets the point through very effectively... love the way u put it in a nutshell
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
Thx :D
I actually won a limerick contest with this one here on dA.
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:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
deserves it
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:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
This made me laugh. :la:
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