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The pastor once prayed to the heaven
Inquired ‘bout the sins of the seven
Never did he know
Lust he did show
When he went for a whore past eleven.

Feedback and comments are much appreciated!
Written for #Written-Imagination's 1st anniversary :dummy:
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:iconnotensmsk:
For a limerick this works quite well. I have rarely seen very serious limericks and in that perspective the humorous touch is not only acceptable but seems to match the form.

While not being a fan of limerick writing I have read many and enjoyed them and seen that the most important trait in them is that they make sense. Meaning it is not gibberish. In this scenario the theme in essence is a very serious one; the seven deadly sins. They have been handled in a humorous way yet it does not seem comical or as if you are making fun.

Also the last line... well you can say it amused me a lot. So over all a good job well done in my opinion. I won't be able to comment technically since I do not feel any such need. Keep writing.
What do you think?
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5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.

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:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
A very well composed poem indeed. Simple and to the point, just they way I like it. Conveys clearly the hypocrisy that every modern religion is slowly turning into.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2015
A limerick written in no time at all, yet one I'm very proud of nonetheless.
Reply
:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
you should be :)
Reply
:iconshadee:
shadee Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Perfect. :giggle:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014
Thank you :happybounce:
Reply
:iconrockstar1009:
rockstar1009 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Pfft. I can violate all seven at once. :P

Good stuff, this. :la:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014
I bet you could, heck, didn't you write a scenario where you'd do all 10?
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:iconrockstar1009:
rockstar1009 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
...maybe I did. :paranoid:

And maybe that post made it to Forum-It a few issues back. :lol:
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014
That's quite plausible, and I may or may not know who added it to it :bucktooth:
Reply
:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:highfive: awesome ... short, concise and gets the point through very effectively... love the way u put it in a nutshell
Reply
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012
Thx :D
I actually won a limerick contest with this one here on dA.
Reply
:icondannymechanist:
DannyMechanist Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
deserves it
Reply
:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
This made me laugh. :la:
Reply
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012
:squee: Glad it did!
Reply
:icondivine--apathia:
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:la:
Reply
:iconbiga-nt:
BigA-nt Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hahaha nice one. Great limerick. Nice work. Short and simple but highly effective. Nice one. :D
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2012
Thx :D
Reply
:iconwaters11:
waters11 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012
that was good i loved it
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012
Thank you, I'm glad you did :D.
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:iconwaters11:
waters11 Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2012
me to
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:iconnightreign123:
Nightreign123 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Student Writer
Well, I suppose whores are better than children.
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012
I didn't dare imply children, that might have been a bridge too far..
Reply
:iconnightreign123:
Nightreign123 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Student Writer
Well, you know, it's very common in our lovely country...
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:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012
Well yes.. sadly enough it does seem to be a hot topic :lol:
Reply
:iconnightreign123:
Nightreign123 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Student Writer
Indeed...
Reply
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012
Bad publicity my friend.. bad publicity..
Reply
:iconnightreign123:
Nightreign123 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012  Student Writer
For us or for the priests?
Reply
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2012
For us Belgians, I don't give a flying fuck about the priests :lol:
Reply
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September 24, 2012
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