literature

The burden of Immortality

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PuzzledHeartBox's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

If my immortal heart wouldn’t waver with every sad predicament

Would the world still keep on turning, would it still revolve eventful and free

Would my heart, steadfast and strong, still beat in utmost harmony?

 

Its bittersweet duet of a bluebird’s joyous song,

Combined with the nightingale’s mournful melody.

 

If love could be unending, would it surpass the tooth of time?

As time itself becomes an unknown word before these vacillating eyes.

Would time still be a ticking clock, would years or ages lose its charms.

As eternity takes me into its arms.

 

My heart, my love, my immortality..

A curse, an ailment, an unending mockery.

 

As eternity would hollow out the heavy words,

Rendering them void and light.

So would my heart be burdened underneath this ageless time.

Love would lose its splendorous glamour, as it expresses its fragility.

The once eventful world, would turn no more, at least not for me,

As we become this world’s most pitiful anomaly.

I’d hold you in my undying arms,

As time takes you away from me.

I’ll once again bear this burden - of immortality.

Feedback and comments are much appreciated!
Questions to my readers :
1. Would you be willing to carry the burden of immortality?
2. Did you think the “story” was clear enough?
3. Do you think love would truly last forever?
4. What do you think are the other burdens of immortality?(Besides losing those you love?)
© 2012 - 2024 PuzzledHeartBox
Comments42
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valleigh's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

All I can say is "wow" You did an awesome job at explaining yourself in this poem, and making others feel the way you do.

You took your time to open up to the reader, and made sure this poem would mean a lot to others. I think you had a lot of inspiration for this.

Your very good at writing, and you have a very good flow with your writing. Not many people has the nag to get the flow write so much, but I believe you do.

This poem really touched me and I know it will get to others, it's good to get to people with your work. Even if a person feels happy or sad from your work, it's good, because it shows, you can have impact.